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Studies have shown that moving is one of the most stressful events in anyone's life. Not surprising you're leaving behind so much that's familiar and comfortable, and adjusting to new surroundings and situations. Plus, you have to live your everyday life of work, parenting, school and routine tasks and chores while you manage the move.
And it's not just you. You might not see it, but the rest of your family members are feeling stress too. Moving is a huge life change for children, and they may not be able to voice their concerns in a way you can understand.
Learn more about:
Managing the Stress of Moving
- Keep a positive attitude. It can be contagious and create a light-hearted mood. Be flexible and remember your sense of humour. You'll get through this!
- Be organized. Yes, there's a lot to do before moving day, and a long list of tasks might seem intimidating. But when you're organized, fewer tasks will "fall through the cracks." Plus, you'll have the satisfaction of checking off the ones you finish! See our Moving Checklist for help getting organized.
- Get everyone on board. Tell everyone, including children, what's happening and how it will affect them. Answer the three basic questions that matter to everyone:
- Why are we moving?
- Where are we moving?
- When will we move?
- Keep communicating. Check in regularly with family members to ask how they're doing and if they have any questions or worries. Acknowledge that it's okay to feel anxious or stressed-and to cry. Give yourself permission to have feelings, too. For some, crying is a natural reaction towards the grieving process of saying good bye to friends and a familiar way of life.
- Get everyone involved. Give people tasks to make them feel part of the process and to give them a sense of control in a crazy, hectic time.
- Soften the goodbyes. You're bidding adieu to places as well as people. Take photos of the places your family will miss most (parks and playgrounds, schools, cafes). Plan family outings (and make them fun by incorporating a treasure hunt or "I Spy" game) to find new places to replace the old.
- Take some time for yourself. Rejuvenate your mind, body and spirit with exercise, meditation, "book breaks", long baths-whatever relieves your stress. Those around you will benefit as much as you will.
- Eat right. Fast food and junk food can be easy and satisfying, but they don't have the nutrition you need (especially when you're under stress). Keep snacks like nuts, yogurt and fresh fruit at the ready. Plan meals that are quick but healthy. And drink plenty of water.
- Ask for help. Involving friends will help ease their goodbyes too (remember, your move is their loss). They'll feel grateful that they're part of an important time in your life.
Helping Children Cope with Moving Stress
Children are resilient, but they need your help throughout the move. Here's what you can expect, depending on your children's ages. Talk to their pediatrician and teachers for more advice on helping them cope. Teachers might also observe signs of stress you're missing.
- Infants and Preschoolers (0-3 years). Just because your little one can't yet speak, it doesn't mean he or she isn't feeling anxiety. Children are creatures of routine, and move preparations, boxes everywhere, furniture being shifted, etc., are significant disruptions. Be prepared to respond to behavioural changes such as clinging, crying and poor sleep.
- Preschoolers (3-5 years). They don't understand what moving really means. They worry about being left behind. Family and home are the world to them, so reassure them that their parents, pets, siblings, bed and toys are all coming along.
- Elementary School Children. They have strong emotional bonds to their school, friends and special places. A long-distance move will cut those bonds, causing sadness, loneliness, anxiety and confusion. Give them time to say their goodbyes. Help them create new connections in the new location. Arrange for a visit to their new school before the move takes place. Help them build their skills for meeting new people. If possible, enroll them in a favourite activity in their new community, so they can meet other children who like the same pastimes.
- Adolescents. The teenage years are challenging enough; moving can intensify issues. Teenagers may feel they had no say in the decision to move and that they're losing control along with the familiar things in their lives. Try to give them back some sense of control by involving them with the move, letting them plan out their new room and helping them find special places or activities for themselves in your new community.
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