Taking time for you

Balancing Work and Life

Practical strategies to help women better manage the increasing demands of work and family.

As women, we often take care of everyone's needs but our own and can feel overwhelmed by the constant stress of juggling our daily lives. The result is privacy deprivation and health problems. Having a vision and a goal and the ability to stay focused and positive - even when adversity strikes - are key success factors to managing the demands of work and family.

Here are tips to help you take control of your life:

• Go outside your comfort zone a bit. Sometimes the things you fear most are the things you must tackle because they will give you energy.
• Listen to your inner voice and trust it. It tells you what to do to take care of yourself - for example, to leave a relationship or work situation that is not right for you.
• Avoid guilt creators. If you feel guilty, it means you are probably doing something right - i.e. taking care of yourself first for a change.
• Simplify and focus. Cut the bottom 30% of activities that no longer bring value.
• Learn to say no to some opportunities. You can have it all, but not all at once.
• Tap into your winning habits when adversity hits. Be clear about what's wrong and then put boundaries around it, rather than dwelling on it.
• Avoid ' negaholics' as well as getting negative on yourself. Tell yourself 'Don't go there.'
• Be a mentor by encouraging people in your life and listening. Even champion athletes have crises of confidence. It's a battle we all face.
• Take responsibility for your own needs and then negotiate for them. Do not assume that people who know you know what you want.
• Don't put your own interests last in a relationship. Not speaking up for yourself because you're afraid of jeopardizing the relationship is damaging to your self-worth and self-esteem.
• Always have your own independent source of income. Money is the central balance of power in any relationship.

	Avoid guilt creators.

Compiled from speakers at The Company of Women Conference, sponsored by Metroland, held September 15, 2000 in Toronto. Speakers included Dr. Janet Lapp, author of 'Dancing with Tigers', Olympic rower and gold medalist Silken Laumann, Sheila Heen, owner of Difficult Conversations Inc., and Dr. Ann Webster, Scientist and Cinical Corporate Trainer at the Mind/Body Medical Institute, Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Centre, and an instructor in medicine at Harvard Medical School.