Taking time for you

Achieving Work-Life Balance

Nora Spinks, Canada's leading spokesperson on work-life issues and President of Work-Life Harmony Enterprises (e-mail: nspinks@worklifeharmony.ca and Web site: worklifeharmony.ca), has spent the last 15 years helping organizations create supportive work environments, strengthen families and build healthy communities. She is an expert at managing workplace flexibility and harmonizing work and personal responsibilities. Here, she offers her advice on how to achieve work-life balance.

Based on four criteria, a well-balanced work-life is:

1. Self-defined and self-centered
2. Dynamic and vibrant
3. Achievable and sustainable - and you can't do it alone
4. Internal (emotional, intellectual, spiritual) and external (social, logistical, professional)

There are five pillars to work-life and well-being. The stronger each is, the easier it is to achieve a sense of balance:

1. Public Policies & Legislative Framework - maternity leave benefits and job protections.
2. Community Programs & Services - child care and eldercare programs and services.
3. Supportive Organizational Culture - flexible work arrangements and alternative career options
4. Supportive Work Environment - supervisors and co-workers that recognize and respect your life outside of work.
5. Personal Circle of Support - immediate and extended family, friends, neighbours and mentors.

Women's personal networks are actually shrinking dramatically as women spend more time at work. Where once a woman's personal circle of support may have included up to six individuals, it has shrunk to only two. Women need to compensate for this in order to achieve a more balanced life.

	Unhappiness is not knowing what you want and killing yourself to get there.

The work-life continuum has five distinct stages:

1. Work-Life Struggle You are just getting through the day/project and are unaware of things dropped, misplaced or left behind.
2. Work-Life Juggle You look to your circle of support for guidance, help and coping techniques. These tips tend to work when you have only a few balls in the air, but if other thing gets thrown into your field of vision, you are easily tripped up.
3. Work-Life Balance You have learned how to effectively say "no" and live your life guilt free. You have resources and back-up plans, but you may still feel "What's about me and my happiness, my future?"
4. Work-Life Integration From day-to-day to long-term planning, the external sides of your life (logistics and responsibilities) are well integrated and you are beginning to focus more internally (long term happiness, spirituality, contentment)
5. Work-Life Harmony You orchestrate your life by drawing your own piece of "music." You feel whole, in control, and calm on a daily basis and have clarity about the future.

Figuring out what stage you are at along the above continuum is the first step in working towards a well-balanced life, but don't stop there! You must also:

1. Define success for yourself. Decide what success looks like to you; is it having a particular job or title, having a particular amount of money invested, owning a particular item, having a particular feeling, being thought of or remembered by others in a particular way or making a certain type of contribution in your community - then develop and execute a plan for success.
2. Make your list of The 25 Things I Want To Accomplish In My Lifetime. Don't know where to start? Make a date with yourself or a close friend to invest some time in your future by thinking back to your youth and remembering what made you most happy, reconnect with your dreams, and imagine yourself in the future. Start making your Life Time TO DO List The ideas are sure to start flowing. Be specific and personal. Have a date attached to the plan, and tell people about it to encourage their support. For example: All through my adolescence, I read Greek mythology, I loved the history and the imagery. By October, I'd like to take a boat tour of the Greek Islands and explore the ancient temples around Athens Greece with my Best Friend.
3. Re-discover and replace what you have E·R·A·S·E·D· from your life. Which of these are you missing?
   • Enjoyment/Life Satisfaction
   • Relationships
   • Attitude/Perspective
   • Sleep
   • Exercise
   • Diet
4. Take control. Control the things you can control so you can effectively manage the things you can't control. Master things in your control like your attitude, how you spend your time, and how you take care of yourself. Let go of things not within your control like other peoples' expectations.
5. Take time to reflect. Clarity of vision requires quiet. Allow time for your brain to "defrag" and create free space. You won't feel a sense of balance and harmony if you don't have a sense of vision and time to reflect upon it. Be clear about what you want, who you are and what you expect. Once you have set your goals, you must regularly reflect. Put yourself in the centre of your universe to remind yourself that you deserve to come first - which can sometimes be difficult for women. Think about being on an airplane and how you must always put your own oxygen mask on first before helping those travelling with you that are depending on you.

	You need to take care of yourself FIRST so you have the energy and resources to take care of others.