Five Ways Parents Can Thrive When Adult Children Move Home

From college graduates without immediate job prospects to twenty-something retail workers earning minimum wage, a growing number of young adults are finding it financially impossible to live on their own. Known as the boomerang generation, they’re returning or remaining at home to live with their parents. 

Parents of adult kids who move home can feel stretched with new responsibilities and family dynamics. They may be asked to help with expenses and find themselves navigating family dynamics around privacy and independence. Understanding the challenges that may arise and setting clear expectations with a solid plan can create an environment where not only adult children but parents can thrive.

What is the boomerang generation?

In 2021, nearly half of Canadian adults ages 20 to 29 — 45.8% — lived with at least one parent, up from 42% in 2011 and 32% in 1991, StatsCan census data shows. This boomerang generation includes young adults who never left and those who returned home after living somewhere else. 

Why are more adult children moving home?

Economic pressures prompt the rising trend. The rising cost of housing leads the way. In many areas of the country, an apartment is increasingly unaffordable. For example, young adults in Toronto spend 31% of their income on housing, compared to 20% across all age groups. Going home to live with parents can give children a stronger launchpad.

Other living costs, from groceries and household goods to insurance, have risen as well since the pandemic, and income has not kept pace. This is stagnation of wealth and net savings at an age when young people are trying to gain traction.

As a result, Canadians in their twenties are questioning life decisions influenced by affordability concerns. For example, in 2022, 38% did not believe they could afford to have a child in the next three years, while 32% did not believe they would have access to suitable housing to start a family in that time frame. 

For young adults who attended college, student loan debt is another cost burden. The share of graduates who had debt at graduation was 47% in 2020. The median amount owed was $18,800 and the average was $25,200. 

What are the challenges and opportunities that come when adult kids move home?

When grown children return home, the change can bring both relief and new pressures. On the financial side, the arrangement may allow your child to save money or tackle debt — but it can also make it harder for them to build strong budgeting habits and independence if expectations aren’t clearly set.

Financial and emotional hurdles

For parents, the costs often add up quickly. Groceries, utilities, car insurance, and everyday expenses can quietly chip away at retirement savings. Many parents end up spending thousands of dollars each year to support their adult kids, sometimes postponing travel, downsizing, or even retirement plans. In a survey of 1,508 grandparents ages 55 and older, 21% said they support at least one adult child who is 25 or older, and 30% have provided money to their grandchildren. Of these respondents, 54% say they are sacrificing their savings to do this. 

The emotional aspects of adult children living with parents can be just as challenging. Sharing space again means adjusting to each other’s routines, expectations and need for privacy. You may find yourself torn between wanting to nurture your child and needing to protect your own independence and household balance.

The sandwich generation squeeze

If you’re also caring for aging parents, you may feel especially stretched. Supporting both adult children and older relatives can be exhausting. Nearly 2 million Canadian adults constitute the sandwich generation; 34% are caregivers for both parents and children.

Still, this time at home can deepen family connections and create opportunities for children to learn responsibility within the safety net of home. A January 2024 study found that living with a boomerang kid can be rewarding. 45% of parents report a very positive effect, and 29% say it’s been somewhat positive. The arrangement also can have practical benefits, such as sharing chores and pooling resources.

Five ways parents can thrive with adult children at home

Having your adult kid move back home can feel like a mix of relief and disruption. While the arrangement offers financial and emotional benefits, it works best when parents take steps to protect their own well-being while helping their children move forward. Here are five strategies you can use to help make the experience a positive one for everyone.

1. Set clear expectations. Before your child settles back in, have an honest conversation about house rules. Lead the way—it’s your house—but be open to new ways of doing things. Discuss everything from chores and curfews to how shared spaces are used. With clear agreements, you can help prevent misunderstandings.

2. Establish financial contributions. Your child may not be able to pay full market rent, but there are other ways to pay their way, such as pitching in for groceries, utilities, or other shared expenses. Consider how they can help with in-kind contributions that would make your life easier, such as cleaning, cooking, maintaining the property and helping out with older relatives who live with you. Contributing, financially or otherwise, encourages responsibility and builds good habits for independent living.

3. Create a transition plan. How long does your child plan to stay? How long do you want them to stay? What steps are they taking toward independence? Whether it’s saving for a rent deposit or mortgage downpayment, finishing school, or job hunting, set a timeline to keep momentum. And regular check-ins prevent the arrangement from feeling open-ended.

4. Protect retirement and financial health. It’s tempting to prioritize your child’s needs over your own, but be realistic about what you can afford. Make your own financial security a key factor in your plan. Dipping into retirement savings or postponing your financial goals can create long-term strain. Nearly 30 percent of parents have limited their retirement savings to help adult children with expenses; nearly as many are postponing retirement for the same reason. 

5. Maintain healthy relationships and boundaries. Living with children as adults is different. Mutual respect for privacy, routines and independence is the foundation for a strong relationship. Check in regularly to address issues before they become conflicts. Take advantage of your time under the same roof: Spending time together can be the beginning of a rewarding new chapter in your relationship.

FAQs: Common questions about living with your adult child

How long should adult children stay at home?

There’s no single right amount of time for adult kids to live in their parents’ home with them. If it helps your kid move forward financially, emotionally or in a career, it’s doing the job. If that’s not happening, set an exit plan and stick to it. 

Should adult children pay rent to their parents?

Paying rent can teach responsibility and encourage independence. And it can help you with household expenses. But if you’d rather help your adult kid save for a place of their own or pay down debt, you could forgo the rent or charge a nominal amount. Another approach: Deposit rent payments into a high-yield savings account and give it back when they move out to help them get started. Or charge rent on a sliding scale, starting with a small payment that increases over time, to encourage independence. 

How can parents protect their retirement when supporting adult kids?

This is a good time to get a handle on what you need to save for retirement, if you don’t know already. Above all, don’t dip into retirement accounts to help your adult child with expenses, and avoid cosigning loans you can’t repay yourself. Then set boundaries around how much financial assistance you will offer, perhaps in a total amount or in the length of time your adult kid lives with you. Make this an opportunity to help them start practicing wise financial management: Point them to online resources that teach these skills to young adults.

Lead the way with clear communication

An adult child moving back home brings both challenges and opportunities. If you’re transparent about your expectations, make a plan, and stick to it, living with your adult child can be a rewarding time of connection and growth for everyone at home. 

RBC experts are here to guide you through this time of transition. Talk with one of our advisors for help balancing your finances while staying on track with your retirement goals. Reach out for an appointment today.