February may be the month of honey-sweet romance and decadent treats, but in today’s digital age, fraudsters often use “honey trapping” to lure unsuspecting hearts into costly scams, making vigilance as essential as a box of chocolates. Finding love online can feel like a thrilling adventure – until it ends up affecting not only your emotional well-being, but your financial security as well. The good news? Awareness is your strongest defense. Whether you’re swiping through dating apps or connecting on social media, recognizing red flags and staying vigilant can help you safeguard your finances and emotions. This guide can equip you with the knowledge to spot the scam behind the romance, helping your search for love remain secure.
Romance scams usually start on dating sites or social media. The scammer will build a relationship, often over weeks or months, gaining the trust of their victims. There will be multiple messages sent back and forth, strong feelings expressed, and many compliments shared. Eventually, the scammer will ask for money – often citing an emergency or the need to cover travel expenses. Here are 5 red flags to keep top of mind and how you should respond:
1. The romance moves very quickly
How to spot: Every relationship moves at its own pace, and hitting it off with someone new isn’t out of the question. But if someone pressures you to start chatting or messaging outside of a trusted dating app, this could be a red flag. Remember, reputable dating apps have tools to help spot scammers and remove them from their platforms.
How to respond: If someone pressures you to move communication outside a trusted dating app, suggest continuing the conversation within the app’s platform, emphasizing that you prefer to use its built-in safety features. If they persist or become aggressive, this is a clear warning sign – block and report the profile to the platform immediately. Legitimate connections will respect your boundaries and won’t rush you into using unsecure channels.
2. The “too-good-to-be-true” match
How to spot: Scammers often create fake profiles designed to mirror your interests, hobbies, and even life experiences, making it seem like you’ve found your “perfect match.” They may claim to share your exact passions – whether it’s a niche hobby, favorite band, or life goals – and appear to know personal details about you. This tactic is intentional: By crafting an idealized persona, scammers aim to build trust and emotional connection quickly.
How to respond: While romance scams often start on online dating sites, scammers are increasingly sourcing targets on social media. If you post a lot of personal information about yourself on your social accounts, it’s easy for scammers to say all the right things to create a quick attraction. Before starting your search for love, do a social media audit to protect your personal information.
3. A lack of personal information
How to spot: Romance scammers often communicate with several potential victims at a time, and therefore have a standard profile. They tend to keep details about themselves vague and don’t share a great deal of personal information. Communication is a two-way street, and if the person you’re talking to asks you to share personal details about yourself – while being reluctant to do the same – this could be a sign they’re hiding something.
How to respond: By asking specific, detailed questions – about where they grew up, their siblings, what they do for a living, and where they went to school – you can easily spot inconsistencies in their story.
4. They avoid meeting in-person
How to spot: A common lie scammers tell is that they’re unable to meet in-person. They might say they’re living or travelling outside the country, or work for an international organization. If they do agree to a meeting, an “emergency” often comes up at the last minute – like car trouble or a sick relative. These made-up emergencies often act as a perfect opportunity to ask you for financial help.
How to respond: Meeting someone in-person after connecting online is a great way to verify they are who they say. Prioritize your safety by choosing a public location, informing a trusted contact of your plans, and arranging your own transportation. If someone consistently avoids meeting in-person or cancels due to vague “emergencies,” this is a strong indicator of a scam – block and report the profile immediately.
5. A request for money
How to spot: As the relationship builds and you become emotionally invested, your new “love interest” may ask you for money or to accept an e-Transfer on their behalf. Common requests include asking for help paying medical expenses, buying a ticket to visit you, or helping them pay fees to get them out of trouble. This is a clear sign that the person you’re chatting with isn’t who they say they are.
How to respond: Politely, but firmly decline any requests for financial assistance, no matter how urgent they claim the situation is. Suggest alternative solutions (i.e. contacting local authorities or their employer for help) instead of you sending them money. If they persist, pressure you, or invent urgent excuses (i.e. medical emergencies, travel fees), this confirms a scam.
While February celebrates romance, it’s also prime time for romance scams. Your strongest defense is vigilance: Slow down, verify identities, never send money, and protect your personal data. Practicing these tactics and prioritizing caution can help you safeguard both your heart and finances.
For more tips on keeping yourself and data safe against common scams, read the
This article is intended as general information only and is not to be relied upon as constituting legal, financial or other professional advice. A professional advisor should be consulted regarding your specific situation. Information presented is believed to be factual and up-to-date but we do not guarantee its accuracy and it should not be regarded as a complete analysis of the subjects discussed. All expressions of opinion reflect the judgment of the authors as of the date of publication and are subject to change. No endorsement of any third parties or their advice, opinions, information, products or services is expressly given or implied by Royal Bank of Canada or any of its affiliates.
